Heavy duty drugs. Extortion. Police. Detectives. Hospitals. Nervous breakdowns. Panic attacks. Radiation. Lies. Violence. Stage 4 addictions. Denial. Eviction. Tears. Fighting. Resentment. Disappointment.
This was the daily bread of my last few weeks. I sat relatively calmly, distanced, in the eye of the storm, save two sobbing breakdowns to a nearest and a dearest, respectively, confined to two back-to-back phone calls, within a condensed half hour.
I am going to India in just over a week to take part in an advanced training and I was told by others to buckle in—that once that decision was made, tumult would follow as everything came up that needed resolving. I was hoping this would be along the lines of some past body image issues surfacing and maybe a remorseful late night Ben and Jerry’s binge. Perhaps an evening of too much vodka where I did something absolutely ridiculous and regretful at the close. Apparently I am past those hurdles and my stuff only comes in at primetime drama levels. The goings on could not be confined to a 60 minute "Law and Order" episode. We're nearing an entire season of a sequel to "The Wire" at this point.
In a series of dry, joking texts regarding my level-headedness, I told one friend that I was having plastic statues of me made, to hand out to others for worship. To another I insisted upon a medal, perhaps a trophy even, and that I wouldn’t be opposed to a parade. Clearly, I’m not that evolved yet.
But this isn’t just about me. Everyone I know has been going through extreme levels of change in the last few weeks, whether positive or negative, across the board, those closest to me have experienced unexpected break-ups, weddings, babies being born, homes being put on the market. People who haven’t been in a relationship for years suddenly finding love and huge jobs being granted—personal dramas of blockbuster proportions sweeping almost every single person I know.
I have received more “what’s up with the universe” calls, emails, texts, than I ever have in my life.
So what’s up?
Many of you are probably familiar with the whole 2012 phenom. The Mayans predicted thousands of years ago (and there are several others in varying traditions that correlate the same date) basically an end to humanity as we know it. The pessimists foretell of an apocalypse. Many more dub it a quantum leap of human consciousness; the year that humanity will evolve into a different way of being. I’ve heard that it will be a return to the “true balance between the divine feminine and masculine.”
This is not going to happen overnight, but there will be a tipping point in that year to where, we all, as a human race, essentially start to operate in a different way.
Old patterns of thought, conditioning, must be broken down in order to clear the space for a different idea. This can be painful. It can be voluntary or involuntary. If you are not ready to embrace the change yourself, the world will push you toward it. Fasten your seat belt. This ascent into collective a new way of thinking is reflected in our society and our world on every level. Obama. The BP Oil Spill. Interest and insistence for all things green from countertop sprays to our local produce. The near-manic levels of excitement in anticipation of the release of “Eat Pray Love,” the movie.
You might think the entire 2012 prediction is a load of nonsense. Philosophic discourse, spiritual enlightenment, these are luxurious discussions, and we should indeed be grateful that such a debate can exist in our lives. Whether or not someone wants to get caught up in semantics regarding evolution or the divine, it is undeniable that there is great change taking place. The totally terrific part of it is that there is no need to be concerned with anything on a global level—everything begins at home.
Some of the teachings I have been ingesting in the last few years include dialogue of: “What can I do to change the world?”
“If you can love your family, you can change the world. That is not as simple as it appears.”
And
“The measure of fulfillment in our experience is dependant on how comfortable we are with ourselves… being comfortable with yourself is the true measure of growth.”
The only thing we have the ability to change is ourselves, and this is enough. And we don’t necessarily need to change, if your go-to state is love, generosity, compassion, peace… congratulations—let’s build you a temple. (with a giftshop that sells agave sweetened cupcakes, preferably)
I know I’m a cheerleader for the woo. The reason for it is because all of this has changed my life, my relation to peace within myself and those around me so drastically that I can’t help but want to spread the love. It’s not easy to shift our perspectives, but it also isn’t complicated. All joking about parades and plastic statues a la Ganesha aside, as my family was melting down around me (and they had EVERY reason and right to) I remained, for all intents and purposes, pretty chill the whole time. And when not chill, I wasn’t caught up in the drama or my reaction to it, I was just allowing it to pass. I'm not saying I was a perfect floating cloud of love and compassion showering hersey kisses and sparklers at each and every moment, but I did not not make things more difficult with my own b.s. I did not burden others with my drama, save for giving an outline to my closest friends. I did not head straight to the bar. I did not jump off a bridge.
We don’t choose what comes into our life. We only choose how we react to it. There are the small, daily ways that we can facilitate all of our growth and evolution into a new way of being. We're all free to pick and choose the path that feels yummiest. Eventually these things build so that when the hammer falls, we are ready and grounded. When life gets to epic proportions and the idea of self-pity crosses my mind, I remind myself: You wanted a roller-coaster, sweetie. Here it is. Hang on for the ride.
Don't take my word for it...:
“Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”
-Mahatma Gandhi
“The more you sweat in peacetime, the less you bleed during war.”
-Chinese Proverb
“Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous.”
-George Bernard Shaw
“Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures.”
-John F. Kennedy
"If half a century of living has taught me anything at all, it has
taught me that nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
"
-Dale Carnegie
"Ev'rybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism,
Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, That-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m
All we are saying is give peace a chance."
-The Beatles
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